As many of you know, I'm now 11 days into the Sattva Cleanse. This way of eating and nourishing my body is the same way I ate during my teacher training a year and a half ago in India, and now that I'm almost half way through I'm remembering some of the harder days of that ytt that happened also about halfway through. There was a point in my daily ashtanga practice where my body hurt, hamstrings tender, shoulders aching and body not getting the same protein + nutrient makeup it was used to - this was my breaking point. I spent an entire day crying in my room, uncontrollably emotional, missing all my classes and ready to hop a plane home and not look back.
Flash forward to this evening as I attended Danielle Murray's hot flow and my physical practice broke wide open, it was challenging - which was expected - enlightening - also as expected, funny, real, inspirational and a full mix of clear realization and hazy confusion. Today, my body hurts, my digestive system seems to be in denial and I left the class early due to nearly passing out in addition to the nauseous wave that rolled over me and then proceeded to sob all the way home.
Good news is shortly after this breakthrough I had the most open practices of my life, my body had more energy, the food was enjoyable and I got into a groove. I'm aware there are so many factors that led to my breakdown tonight, right now I'm fighting my ego and approaching it gently and with kindness toward myself.
I'm trying to not have expectations about this cleanse, but I could use a little of that in the near future!